thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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