Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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