How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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