That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
