So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
