Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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