No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
