I CAN MOONWALK!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
