Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize