she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
