We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
