Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
