Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
