When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize