I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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