i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
