i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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