Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
