Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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