i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
