I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
