Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize