Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
