the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
