I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
honey bunches of taint.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
