and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
