I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
