I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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