Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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