Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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