my phone needs a breathalizer
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival