We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.