Texts From Last Night

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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.

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  (864): you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack. http://tfl.nu/rq5j
  Replies (40) Good night (487) Bad night (4620) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.

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  (502): I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away. http://tfl.nu/vvbq
  Replies (4) Good night (2876) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around

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  (201): i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around http://tfl.nu/2geo
  Replies (23) Good night (1375) Bad night (2731) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

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  (304): enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this http://tfl.nu/89bx
  Replies (18) Good night (3873) Bad night (489) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.

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  (614): just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society. http://tfl.nu/uah3
  Replies (31) Good night (1344) Bad night (3874) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.

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  (651): I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol. http://tfl.nu/cmai
  Replies (21) Good night (3545) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.

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  (707): i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present. http://tfl.nu/pwew
  Replies (24) Good night (5014) Bad night (1301) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  i have a dinosaur tramp stamp

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  (303): i have a dinosaur tramp stamp http://tfl.nu/rh7q
  Replies (60) Good night (8094) Bad night (1984) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.

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  (608): Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him. http://tfl.nu/b6v7
  Replies (49) Good night (8742) Bad night (848) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

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  (845): i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room http://tfl.nu/beeq
  Replies (13) Good night (872) Bad night (3368)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.

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  (919): I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process. (1-919): Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop. http://tfl.nu/dsex
  Replies (3) Good night (4216) Bad night (734)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?

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  (717): Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear? http://tfl.nu/anmu
  Replies (4) Good night (560) Bad night (1616)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.

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  (518): He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on. http://tfl.nu/5fme
  Replies (11) Good night (1941) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."

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  (212): That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood." http://tfl.nu/okr0
  Replies (1) Good night (845) Bad night (412) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.

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  (202): I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects. http://tfl.nu/vyxz
  Replies (2) Good night (635) Bad night (226) Order T-Shirt

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