i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
