At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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