it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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