I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my being single is dangerous.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
