singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
