Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
