You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
