The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
