so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize