youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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