is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
