If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
