It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
