They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize