i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
