I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
