I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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