It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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