Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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