$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
