Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
