the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I need water and some morals
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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