Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
