he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
