i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
