I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
