I must be too annoying 4 u.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
