Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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