Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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