I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
