Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
